Monday, December 17, 2007

How not to initiate an assault

I don't remember much from my freshman year in Army ROTC. I remember dreading Thursday afternoons because of ROTC lab, and the overwhelming sense of freedom that arrived upon our release some three hours later. The rugged pride I now have for my vocation had yet to develop; it was a nuisance then, a club I didn't want to be a part of, but had to participate in to placate my parents. ($160,000 price tags for a college education tend to have that effect.)

With all of that said however, one of my favorite IrishSlim (LT G's collegiate persona) stories transpired that year. We were lying on the ground of the Water Tower field, learning how to assault through an objective - combat arms 101. I wasn't really paying attention - I remember being more concerned with my nightly pledge duties for my fraternity. I think I was sober driving that night, and I was not interested in either driving or staying sober. I was also trying to hide the fact that I was wearing my dress uniform belt again instead of my field uniform belt. CPT Ryan was a stickler for uniforms, and fully aware that "I couldn't find it in the cluster of chaos that is my closet" would not qualify as a suitable excuse, I kept my movements to a minimum.

Anyways, the aforementioned stickler snapped me out of my daydreaming.

"So, Cadet IrishSlim, what would you do to initiate this assault?" The nasal crispness of military decorum rattled my mind back into reality.

I wasn't trying to be funny. Honest to Allah, it seemed like the right answer at the time. Looking back on it though, I can kind of understand how I earned the reputation of a smartass.

At least I yelled it. There was no question or doubt in my voice.

"CHAARRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGEEEEE!!!!!!!!!"

(For the record, the correct answer would have been "by opening fire with the primary weapons system." Ehh. I was kind of close. I guess it was just my inner Cav scout asserting himself.)

4 comments:

Deacfan2009 said...

Awesome story, Hansel

Anonymous said...

Bro,
That was a great story! I only say that because I can see you doing just that (you are Irish as pointed out). Again i think this a great idea and keep it up. head down, be safe! Ian

Grandpa said...

OMG, you had me LOL, woke my wife up. I can tell your celtic blood runs true.

Brian H said...

But you left out the best part! What did the Stickler do?